The Little Scouter Boy
Come they told me; pa rum pa pum pum
A slick DE to see; pa rum pa pum pum
He tests just like Ziggy; pa rum pa pum pum
His pass rush is beastly: pa rum pa pum pum
Rum pa pum pum; rum pa pum pum
Hosting a party this draftmas? Well I’m going to share some dips and sauces you can make before hand without too much difficulty to make this the most epic draft party in the history of your peer group. Disclaimer: your significant other will likely want you at least ten feet away at all times after eating most of these.
12 cloves garlic
3 egg whites
3/4 Tsp citric acid (lemon or lime juice, Orange if it’s all you’ve got)
1/2 Tsp salt
Start food processor with ingredients in
While blending slowly add canola oil until mixture is nice and thick
Add ice cold water until processor is half full while processor is running.
The water has to be ludicrously cold, or this is just a runny mess. It still tastes great, but if you want to have it as a dip rather than something you’re just drizzling over the next item, you need to refrigerate that water my friend.
1 small pizza crust
3 slices of crispy bacon, crumbled
4 Tsp Italian salad dressing
Shredded cheese to taste (pre shredded pizza blend usually works best)
Spread the Italian dressing across the surface of the pizza crust, then spread the cheese over the top of that. crumble the bacon over the top of the cheese, and cook that pile of greatness following the directions for the specific pizza crust you have purchased. Drizzle a SMALL amount of the above garlic sauce over top of the cheese before cooking to give this some bite (or if you don’t want to make that, just sprinkle some garlic powder over the cheese; or replace the Italian dressing with garlic butter and dip these in pasta sauce or slasa). Cut it in strips, not wedges. The crust to not crust ratio works out better.
Pico de Gallo Salsa
6 Toma tomatoes
1/2 Red onion
3 Tsp cilantro chopped or 4 dried
1 Jalapeno pepper with all the seeds removed
1 pinch each, garlic powder. cumin, black pepper, and salt
Juice from a lime
Dice the Tomatoes, Onion, and Jalepeno, and combine in a bowl.
Stir in spices and lime juice
Refrigerate for several hours before you want to eat it.
Two Late Round Draftmas Gems
Jonathan Williams is one of my favorite running backs in this class. He lost his senior season to a foot injury, but his 2014 season was a thing of beauty. He dances to much in the hole on occasion, but if he can adjust to the NFL game, and stop doing that, he’s a 225lb running back with incredible balance, he just does not go down if a would be tackler doesn’t wrap up, or if they try to arm tackle him. He has an excellent blend of speed and power, if there are no lingering effects of his injury, the team that drafts him is going to look very smart in a couple seasons.
Max Tuerk is an athletic center who has played every position along the offensive line in his time at USC. He is a player that could conceivably be the primary backup for three interior line positions, and serve as an emergency backup at the tackle spots. That is the kind of guy who stays in the league for a decade, even if he doesn’t develop in to a starter. I’d love if he were one of the Lions sixth round picks, because that’s the kind of depth player they need on the roster.
One Draft Day Trade
What If New England wanted a player that happened to be available at 15 badly enough to make that phone call to their former employee Bob Quinn? The Patriots have two picks at the end of the second round to use as bargaining chips at picks 60 and 61, but according to the mighty chart, that is not nearly enough to move up to 15. The Patriots would likely need to include next season’s first round pick as well, but that pushes the scale to far in the Lions favor to be realistic at all. The Lions third round pick next season would put the trade to all but even. To recap, in 2016, the Patriots get 16, the Lions get 60 and 61. In 2017 the Lions get what will likely be a late first round pick, and the Patriots get the Lions third round pick. In the long view, the Lions come out ahead, but not by so much that it’s impossible.
Players I could see eliciting this reaction in “the hoodie?” Joey Bosa’s hard partying ways have hit the media, and it’s possible that sends him down the draft board, it’s not likely, but it’s the kind of thing that could make a team try and make the jump from 60 to 15. To even attempt it, there would have to be an unexpected fall for a player that New England had near the top of their draft board. Myles Jack’ knee makes teams trying to build a roster too nervous to spend their high pick? Vernon Hargreaves III gets jumped by another corner or two because of his height? Someone expected to go much higher than 16.