The Second Day of Draftmas: Seven Mad Predictions

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So this is Draftmas

So this is Draftmas; and what have you done?

Another year over, and a new one just begun?

Have a merry Merry Merry Draftmas; and a happy league year

Let’s hope it’s a good one, with plenty of beer.

Seven Mad Predictions

Joey Bosa is going to fall out of the top twenty, and Draftniks will lose their minds.

Laquon Treadwell will not be selected in the first round, but will lead rookies in catches.

Jason Spriggs will be selected before Taylor Decker.

The Titans will trade up from 15 to the Browns spot at 8.

Three or fewer Defensive Tackles will be taken in round one.

Six or more Defensive Tackles will be taken in round two.

Three Quarterbacks will be taken in the top ten.

Six Draftmas Subplots

Kenny Clark Jr. watched his dad get arrested for murder when he was nine years old and there is a pending appeal that may set him free. I suspect you’ll hear about it in enough depth to have three picks announced at once when the mini documentary about his life is over.

Noah Spence screwed up, changed schools, got his junk together, but then had a really disappointing combine. Off the field issues and bad times, but still mentioned as a first rounder? I don’t have a clue where he goes between 15 and 60.

The Rams have been coy about who they’re selecting to build drama this Draftmas, likely at the NFL’s request, but there are no members of the media left saying it’s going to be Wentz. If the Rams flipped the script, it might be the greatest moment in televised draftmas history as the broadcast crews WFT’d all over themselves.

Where does Paxton Lynch end up? I can see anywhere from 7 to 31. There are quite a few teams that need a QB between those picks, but that doesn’t mean any of them like this particular QB.

Jason Spriggs was listed by most draft ranking sites as a third round player before he combine. How much can a combine propel a player at the tackle position? Some (including me) are saying that it will blast him in to the first round. I don’t think it should, the track record of combine superstar offensive tackles is horrendous, but I think someone is going to make that mistake.

Jaylon Smith vs. Marcus Lattimore. The two had very similar injuries, and Lattimore fell to the fourth round’s compensatory picks, and then never really played in the league. With that in teams minds, how far is Jaylon Smith going to fall?

Five Bob Quinn Quotes

“I don’t think you can take the Patriot way to Detroit. I think it has to be my way. The things I learned from New England, obviously, I’m going to take with me and try to implement them. New England’s a special place. And I learned most if not everything I know about the NFL from the people at the Patriots, starting with coach Belichick and Mr. Kraft. I want to create my own legacy in Detroit and use the things I’ve learned in New England. It’s not the Patriot way.” Bob Quinn

“I haven’t thought about that and I have no interest in trading Matthew,” Bob Quinn

“I think the biggest thing I learned was probably that all the decisions are made before draft day. You know, there’s no big arguments on draft day. The board’s set, you follow the board, you follow what your plan is and there’s really not a lot of discussion about who’s a better player on draft day, either Thursday, Friday or Saturday. Because really all that work’s done in advance, so it’s really a calm room. It’s going to be really quiet and we’ll just let the draft come to us.” Bob Quinn

“Things in New England, when I started there 16 years ago, didn’t happen overnight,” Quinn said. “It’s a step-by-step, day-by-day, month-by-month process. One of many things I learned in New England was, we’re always striving to get better, whether it’s scouting, whether it’s coaching, whether it’s in the weight room, nutrition, analytics. If we can get one step better every day, that’s putting this organization in the right direction.” Bob Quinn

“We’re not going to build it for the quick. We’re going to build it for the long haul.”Bob Quinn

Four Mock Drafts

Jeff Risdon has the number sixteen player going in the draft as Shaq Lawson, but is not sure it will be the Lions taking him.

Charley Casserly has the Lions taking Taylor Decker, putting Decker in the Mock draft lead with three. writer Will Brinson’s crazy like a fox (should have saved that for a fox writer) prediction is Leonard Floyd out of Georgia. A 3-4 OLB Mr. Brinson? WHAT DID YOU HEAR?!?!?

Peter Schrager drops a Schrager bomb on the Lions with Shaq Lawson out of Clemson.

Three Draftmas foods

I got a request in the comments of the thread regarding the DLPod’s draft party, and you know what, these two wing sauces are both low sodium, gluten free, and vegan (well one uses honey; deal with it tree hugger!), and amazing on chicken. Today’s special bonus though for : Tofu wings. the best part is that these are freaking delicious, I’ve only ever used this technique for stir fries, when engaged in romantic pursuits of a misguided lady friend, but the principal should transfer seamlessly. /u/Perry87, these are for you. There will always be a place at the Draftmas party for those who have made poor life decisions. Redemption is what Draftmas is all about isn’t it?

Honey Bourbon Sauce

4 oz bourbon

1/2 cup honey the cloudy, thicker honey works better, but the clear, runny stuff will do.

1 6 oz can of no salt added tomato paste

3 oz (since you’ve already got the shot glass out) white vinegar

6 oz olive oil

2 oz balsamic vinegar

Put all of that in a mid sized pot, and heat it at medium, stirring regularly until all ingredients have liquefied, and combined. Then bring it to a boil on high, and bring it back down to medium, stirring continually until about 1/2 the volume is gone. There is nothing subtle about the way this tastes, it’s not spicy, but it will rip your taste buds apart.

Buffalo Sauce

4 oz Macellhenny’s low sodium Tabasco sauce

2 0z olive oil

1 oz white vinegar

1 drop liquid smoke

Combine all ingredients in a bowl and put it straight on, no actual cooking skill required.

Fake Boneless Wings

1 – 16 oz block extra firm tofu cut in to 1-1/2 x 1/2 inch squares.

3 tcb of canola oil (or butter if you’re not vegan)

The key is to get extra firm tofu, that’s what’s going to make the texture not horrifyingly un-meat like. It really does almost feel like you’re eating pieces of chicken breast. Put the Oil in a frying pan, on medium-high heat. Cook the tofu pieces for 2-3 minutes on each side, in batches if your pan isn’t big enough to do them all at once, I don’t think I own one that is. Then dump whichever sauce you’ve chosen above on the whole pile of tofu chunks in the pan. Stir it around so that sauce gets on all of them, and you can’t actually taste the tofu. let that cook, stirring occasionally, until the sauce is nice and sticky, like a real chicken wing’s sauce would be. Use some tongs to transfer these crimes against manliness to some kind of plate. If you are making this, you’ve probably already got some “creamy” salad dressing that adheres to your artificially constructed “natural” means of sustaining yourself. Merry Draftmas to all you filthy hippies.

Seriously though boys, if you ever find yourself dating a vegan, having the ability to make these “fake meats” is going to get you laid. The way to a vegan’s panties is through their stomach, and if you can cook something that doesn’t taste like cardboard for them, your 5/10 becomes a 7/10 and that’s the magic number you need to hit to have a shot with a lady. Things like this are how I ended up with a better half that is better looking, smarter and younger than me, with a better paying job. Don’t say that never taught you anything useful. Ash’s dating advice corner will likely never make another appearance on this site. Now back to Draftmas

Two Late Round Gems

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Evan Boehm

The Missouri center is built like me, he’s all torso. Short little legs, T-Rex arms, but agile. He’s a lot tougher than I am though having played his senior season with a high ankle sprain and not missing a game. He’s a cerebral blocker, which is scout code for the fact that despite the fact he doesn’t look great doing it, he gets himself in to the right spot to take his man, and his man doesn’t make it past him. Every second picture of this guy Getty Images has is of him thrusting a skill position player in to the air after a touchdown. He’s the Lineman that gets just as excited about the TD as the guy who scored. It’s a mentality I’ve always liked in a lineman, and if he becomes a Lions this Draftmas, I think he’ll stick around for a while.


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Goirgio Newberry

He wasn’t a starter for the Seminoles. he was a four star recruit out of high school, but that Seminoles Defensive line has been a tough nut to crack and get some playing time. The thing is that I don’t think he fit the way they used him. He was being used as a situational pass rusher at DE, and I think he is really more of a first, second down end, then kick inside on third down guy, the Jason Jones role in the Lions scheme. He was also a great blocker in high school, he could be a useful goal line TE. This is a deep, deep seventh round or undrafted free agent pick. redistributing this guy’s weight from fat to muscle would do wonders for his game, he’s a bit loose in the carriage.

One Draft Day Trade

Virtually every Mock draft has the Titans taking Jack Conklin ahead of the Lions. So if the Lions are interested in Conklin, it’s possible that they need to jump over the Titans to get him. A two spot jump, from 16 to 14 is actually not all that expensive historically, with teams often being willing to take a fourth round pick, or multiple later picks to cover the balance, often ignoring the draft value chart, looking at the likelihood of the teams behind them taking the guy they’re looking for at their pick. I suspect that in this draft, with little disparity in overall prospect quality between the 11th and 20th prospect, a two spot move would be on the cheaper side. Raiders get pick sixteen and 111, Lions get pick 14 is my guess on how such a trade would work out.

One more day until we unwrap our first present. Follow @a5hcrack on twitter for a live tweeting of the draft and how each pick affects the Lions.  The way we do things with the site doesn’t lend itself to rapid responses to the picks. So I’ll be all over /r/detroitlions during the draft giving my two cents, and at some point on the draft party you will likely hear my Canadian accent again. Sorry.

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About the Author

Ash Thompson
Ash Thompson is a fanatical football fan, and less fanatical hockey fan despite his Canadian heritage. He is sorry aboot that. His spirit animal is a beaver with a shark's head. He enjoys maple syrup and tacos, but never at the same time.