Week Nine…… Today!

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Ash Thompson will be the sarcastic foreign news aggregator that you deserve.


The Freep

Dave Birkett of the Detroit Free Press has been on fire this week. He is single-handedly carrying the Freep’s Lions coverage. Burkett wrote a piece on one way that the Lions might fix their goalline woes: Giving the ball to a good player. It’s the sort of novel concept that defies the internet’s groupthink regarding player roles, but it makes perfect football sense. Abdullah all but threw the coaches under the bus for not using him last week after the game.

Burkett also looks at whether or not the third-year running back is right. He also calls out the Lions for their offseason “plan” to rely on a player who had two sacks in 2016 to dominate. The Lions rolled into 2017 with a defensive end group that combined for 13 sacks in 2016. I am not going to say that the team made a mistake by drafting Teez Tabor in the second round. I am just going to say that Carl Lawson who was drafted in the fourth round by the Cincinnati Bengals, has more sacks than any Lion.

Do you remember Kenny Golladay? Dave Birkett remembers. We will not see Kenny Golladay in week nine.

The Oakland Press

Pat Caputo seems to be under the impression that Matthew Stafford has been living a life free of criticism. That the Detroit Media and fans have been coddling the young man. Pat Caputo had to run to school through knee-deep snow, uphill both ways. We should get off his lawn.

Every article I read like this seems like the author thinks they are the lone hermit standing on the mountaintop screaming into the wind of a fanboy generated storm. If you’re not paying attention to what others are saying about the subject, perhaps you shouldn’t write an article with a tone that implies you are.

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Mlive

Kyle Meinke reports that Ameer Abdullah had a “Just kidding….. unless you wanna do it” moment with Jim Caldwell in the cafeteria regarding some kick return work. They should just be kneeling for the touchback regardless of who is back there. This should not matter in week nine.

Nate Atkins goes over one of the many reasons that Glover Quin was worthy of an extension that will take him to his mid-thirties. This is the kind of thing that NFL locker room leaders do that fans don’t usually hear about. It’s just a story about something Quin and Darius Slay started doing at practice, which seems to have resulted in more interceptions.

They’re going to blow up the Silverdome.

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The Detroit News

Justin Rogers is reporting that Sam Martin‘s offseason injury was caused by a conch. yet another reason to avoid going to the beach, as though my fear of drowning and body image issues were not enough. You can’t trust the sea. It hates you.

Rogers also reports that in a startling contrast to the predictability of the offense based on personnel, the defense has apparently used a dizzying number of lineups. You certainly can’t accuse Teryl Austin of not trying. I mean, a certain number are likely because of the ineffective play on the edges and from the linebacker corps. Even so, applause goes to Austin for not just throwing his hands in the air. By the law of averages we should see 30.75 different perssonel groupings in week nine.

What We Did In Week Nine

Zac Warber says that it was coaching that did the team in against the Steelers.

He also says that Stafford looked healthier against the Steelers than he had previously

Sean Lannigan gets a little more specific regarding the terrible playcalling.

Bryce Rossler thinks that Dwayne Washington is not to blame for the inept red zone running game.

Someone told me recently that some sort of podcast is attached to this site. I’m only linking the ones where they talk about me.

Corey Hayes continues his look at the defensive tackles in the draft.

The Patreon guys got their first bonus content. Case goes off like the pants on a hooker about something or other. Personally, I would have given everyone the first one for free as a bonus podcast episode to get them hooked, and then told them that they could get the rest for only $1 a month on Patreon. It works for crack dealers right? Chris is much nicer than me.

Tweets You Should See

You want to watch this GIF thread by Bryce.

https://twitter.com/Lions/status/926500496210141185

See you in week ten kiddos.

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About the Author

Ash Thompson
Ash Thompson is a fanatical football fan, and less fanatical hockey fan despite his Canadian heritage. He is sorry aboot that. His spirit animal is a beaver with a shark's head. He is also known as /u/a5hcrack on reddit, and can be found on twitter @a5hcrack